Welcome to my world.

Check out this widget from SocialVibe.com. It's really cool because it raises money for a cause of your choice. The way it raises money is by how many profile views you get. You can paste it on your MySpace, Facebook or any and all other profiles you might have. The more views you get, the more points you receive. The more points you receive, the more money Social Vibe AND a brand of your choice, called a sponsor, will donate to your chosen cause. So I advise everyone who reads this to get one!

 Check out the site!

So I'm getting really frustrated at people who take advantage of me. For about a year, I've been making MySpace layouts for people and they've been for free. I started out not that good, but it was still good enough for the ones that wanted a custom layout without worrying about the codes or doing it themselves. It was good practice for me. I've made more than 100 so far for people, not counting my immediate family members and friends that just gave me their passwords (I usually keep all the layouts in the blog section). Well recently after I was getting more and more requests and I was spending more time making them, I decided to start charging. I'm only charging $10 a piece. I started that about a month ago. I put it on my headline for everyone to see, I posted it in a bulletin, I put it on the profile as well along with a paypal button where they can pay right there. Still people are requesting and using them without paying. I'm cool with giving people time and all. But maybe they shouldn't make requests if they can't afford the $10. It's not an issue of bad workmanship, because I have samples of everything I do and I always give an option to make changes to the layout for free. Sometimes I'm too nice and trusting.  I don't know what I should do without being a bitch about it. I could just stop making layouts all together which is how I feel right now. Hmmmm...I think it's time to close up shop for awhile. This is a link to the site:  Dopest Layouts

P.S. The only people worthy of my free work are my IMMEDIATE family members, that means whoever lives with me, my siblings and my neices and nephews. Also These 2 artists: Wahwahtay Benais, because he's been supporting me since I started and he's been sending alot of good people my way. Dj Spinoff, because he's a great young talented person and he went above and beyond showing his appreciation by giving me and my son a shout out on his mixtape, sent us EACH 2 autographed CD's of his last 2 mixtapes and he gave me proper credit on his pic I made him. So yeah he's entitled to free designs!

 

 

It was many many years ago that i saw you for the first time. I was instantly attracted, but pushed the feeling aside because my heart belonged to someone else. I would see you around the way and wish I could know you more but never made the attempt. Months later I was suffering from a dying heart and feeling alone when you re-entered my life. At first it was just a new friendship. You started coming to my house more and more and you would also spend time with my sons. You treated them so well and they seemed to love you...I couldn't resist you anymore. I knew I wanted you to be a part of my life. Our relationship didn't start off too well. There were plenty of fights and constant break-ups. In the end, we always came back to eachother. The fighting eventually faded and we became closer than ever. I was positive in my heart there wasn't nothing you wouldn't do for me. I never felt so loved by anyone. At times I would take advantage of your generosity and trust...something I still feel guilty about to this day. But you stayed with me like a ride or die man. You were there for me when I needed you. I used to cry at the thought of you not being here.I gave birth to your first child and you still treated my older sons as if they were your own. You never mistreated our kids and I will forever love you for that. We have shared so many late nights together and so much laughter. I remember walking for miles in the middle of the night just to be with you and you did the same for me. I use to sleep in your T-shirt when you were away just so i could feel close to you. I was so in love! But slowly throughout the years the passion faded and over time it felt like we were strangers. I would feel nothing when we kissed. You didn't look at me the same. The lust and attraction we once had was gone.  We decided to just be friends. Best Friends. We know everything about eachother and are comfortable around eachother. So far everything is working the way it should be. 7 months later, we still get along. Sometimes I cry inside at the thought of what a wonderful person you are and I know I'll never find anyone like that again. You are 1 in a billion. It's so sad our love didn't last. I can't force myself to be in love no matter how much I want to be. But I feel better knowing that we have a bond that will never be broken and you will still be here when I need you. Just like I will be for you. ~Candy

This is one of my favorite songs. It's cool to listen to it while reading the lyrics.

 

Lupe Fiasco ft. Matthew Santos- Streets on Fire

Tonight, tonight, tonight

[Matthew Santos]
The stars are alive, and the path is colliding
the plan is arriving, and she's out there smiling
the fear is upon us, the skies tried to warn us
their perils are goners, no children to mourn us
it's driving me crazy this whore is my lady
we've lost all our babies and God is amazing
the tick of the timer, the slip of the rhymer
the pimp and the riser your cross there you'll find her
hey, hey

[CHORUS]
Death is on the tip of her tongue and
dangers at the tip of her fingers
streets are on fire tonight
Death is on the tip of her tongue and
dangers at the tip of her fingers
streets are on fire tonight

[Lupe][Verse 1]
Disease the virus is spreading in all directions
no safe zone no cure and no protection
no symptoms define the signs of an infection
no vaccines, remedies, and no corrections
Quarantine the dreams and seal off all connections
don't let them in not a friend not a reflection
everybody's got it and want you to have it next and
don't accept them if you want to stay as an exception
no pill can heal the ill of this
sickness some are still in doubt of its existence
some call it forgiveness and some call it the vengeance
some say it's an exit and some say it's an entrance
the poor say the rich have the cure
the rich say the poor are the source
revolutionaries say it's physiological war
invented by the press, just to have something to report
some say the first case came from a maternity ward
some say a morgue, some say the skies, some say the floors
whores say the nuns, nuns say the whores
and everybody is sure
the scientist say it only affects the mind
the little boy said it only affects the girls
the preacher man said it's going to kill off the soul
a bum said it's going to kill the whole wide world.





[CHORUS]

[Verse 2]
Believe some say the neon signs by the
loudspeakers repeating that everything is fine;
a subtle solace to demolish the troubled conscience
of a popus with no knowledge and every freedom denied
every dream is designed and broadcasted
from the masters to the masses
from the antennas on the top of the shrines
refine the receiver and plant it
during the panic and short it, it reports back
everything in your mind, everything is lying
everything is dying, everything is a rule
everything is a crime, everything was here then
everything rewind the new
weather burned the feathers off everything flying
(And she likes it, and she loves it)
the sadness, the madness, the bad shit
the lavish, the fastest, the clashes, the ashes to ashes
everything intertwined
my femme fatale my darling fraudulent angel
once caught her changing the batteries in her halo
receipt for her wings and everything that she paid for
and the address to the factory where they made those
the scientist said she's all inside my mind
the little boy said what happened to all the girls
the preacher man said she's going to kill off your soul
the dope boy said it's the whole wide world

[chorus]

Idk. I guess today was alright. It wasn't a great day but it wasn't a bad one either. Jermaine had to go to a meeting tonight and took the bus instead of the car. Before he left, he told me that if he didnt make it home on the last bus by 9:40pm, to go look for him. He also said he'd call if he missed it. (Yeah the busses stop early in my neighborhood. boooo.) Anywayz, 9:40 came around and I noticed my phone never rang. I couldn't find the damn thing anywhere. So I get my keys and head out. The fuckin gas light was on and I had to put in gas. I haven't drove in a long time, so I wasn't too used to having to pay a fat stack of cash for fuel.  After I put in about half a tank, I continue to drive down Superior street looking for Jermaine. His meeting was about 5 or 6 miles away, so I figured he most likely started walking and I'll for sure see him somewhere. I ended up going all the way to the place where the meeting was at and back home. I was kinda of pissed off that he didnt just drive himself there. Yeah it's cool to take the bus when you can cuz it's cheaper and better for the environment and all that, but damn. lol I get home and he's already there. He tells me he ended up taking a different bus and hopped off about a mile up from where I was looking for him.  I told him next time take the damn car. lol Wow my life needs some serious excitement SOON.

As if MySpace wasn't addicting enough from being able to meet new people, discover new music, find long lost family members and friends, etc., now they have Apps. Already I have 3 different apps installed on my page. I really don't want to add anymore. The first one I added is called Rate Your Page. Your page allows random viewers to rank your profile on a scale of 1-5 stars. The more people that vote, the higher your ranking moves up. I don't really care too much for this application because I've noticed that most of the top contenders had really weak profiles. So it doesn't make me feel any more proud of my page if it gets up there. I might delete this oone.

The second one I added is called mEgo. It's a really cool universal widget that you can use anywhere online. It's like your own little profile page wherever you go. It contains all the info you want to share and links to your profiles, websites, etc. It even displays your youtube videos and pictures from your flickr account...only if you choose it to. The design is awesome and very customizable.

The latest one I have installed is called Own Your Friends. It looks so much like spam so I didnt wanna check it out at first, but after I found out so many people were using it, I had to see what all the fuss was about. Turns out it's a really fun way to pass the time. I like to think of it as a game of friend monopoly. One of my favorite things about it is having the ability to change other people's statuses. You can change it to whatever you want if you own them. I laugh when I see what people wrote on mine! You can also sell your friends to make more money or give them as gifts and you automatically make $1000. Not in real money of course. The more people buy you, the more your worth goes up and the more you'll cost. It's pretty cool to watch that amount go up!

Visit this website for a schedule of the upcoming pow-wows for this year:

http://www.drumhop.com/mnpowwow.html

I can't get this damn song out of my head! I just heard it the other day and it's like crack to my ears. lol Even though the song is from 2005, it's still new to me. :)

So lately I've been feeling like a box. I'm pretty sure you don't need an explanation on that term but here's one anyway. My brother in law Heath would often use it to describe a stupid idiotic female. It caught on in his circle of friends and in his online community. I even found myself using it alot lately to describe my moments of stupidity or blankness. Like when I forgot what the hell I was looking for, I felt like a box! Personally I think the word is universal. Men can be, and are,  total boxes sometime. George Bush? Biggest box of all time!